Do you notice?

Self realisation is important and I guess self realisation happens to each one of us at once at some point in our life.

Mine took happen few days back or rather I say I noticed consciously that what's happening with me.

I guess many of you knows me very well because, I'm not a famous person that I'll get random visitors a lot, still part of my professionalism pokes me to say so

I'm Snehil Gupta Junior year student of Engineering (lol not elaborating too much)

In a nutshell I'm broke, I'm not an addict but I have occasional habits, I'm a procrastinator & most seriously I have trust issues.

I read few days ago that by birth we have to fear which I don't remember but I'm pretty sure fear of missing out & further developing trust issues which will soon turn into ADHD if I won't take care of myself is acquired.

Anyways, so I was talking about self realisation

So what is my self realisation? What did I realised? And what's the main reason of this blog? These are some major questions here

So, my self realisation is that I've lost track, I'm no longer focused for my careers, I've become lousy & clumsy than ever, I have lost a lot of good people in past 1-2 years and one of the most important person in past 2 months.

And I have no f,*cking idea what am I doing.

I spent 7 days at home, I came back to my hostel today (20/04/2022) and it's not even 6 hours properly and I'm start feeling depressed.

And then I opened my Instagram and I saw this post and it hit me hard. Made me question myself, “What the hell am I doing? Wasn't this was supposed to be my dream job?”

I was a good person, I was a promising student I hold the meaning of my name. And now...

I've lost everything or started to loose everything.

Where have I lost? What happened to me? When did I started loosing myself?

I don't know the answers of any question but I know, it's the self realisation that I wanna hd until I did it.

I just wanna say that this wasn't supposed to go like this.

I wanna wake up before the summer gets over...